Kauai: Field Notes

So we've been driving around, listening to local radio, which has been fun. I'd recommend it to anyone when traveling. Or whenever. Anyway.

There's a whole station of nothing but "Island Music" called "Surf 95.9." I think Joel Agnew (who lives on Maui) works for the radio group that owns it, because I swear I heard his voice on a PSA.

Right now you're like "Island music? Lots of ukelele?" You wish.
Oh my. That music is terrible. Tear-uh-bull.

What's it sound like? Let's start with a pop-reggae base, then:

1. Dumb the lyrical vocabulary down to about the 8th grade (strike 1)
2. Use synthesized horns that do not sound remotely like horns (strike 2)
3. Remove any hint of real percussion, replace with mid-80s drum machines (strike 5)

Jah-waiian, they call it, and it hates subtlety as much as it hates graphic design. Besides rote calls for revolution and one-love, you can enjoy love songs and party jams, with song titles like "Love Song" and "Party Jam."

OK, I guess it's only as terrible as pop on the mainland (New Country Music, I'm looking at you). Just with, like, worse production value and lyrics that scrape out new depths of meaninglessness:

"Haleakala, the temple of the sun....
"We're just having fun. No need to run, no need to packa gun."
(Repeat 12 times)

Oh man.
Right then, I bet the songwriter was like "Let's see....I've got two things that end in 'un' and I need a third..." and didn't rightfully reject the very first idea.

Like anything, it's just another example of the mainstream giving you the dumbest version. There was a killer show on KKCR that had more traditional island music, songs of sovereignty, and some scratchy recordings of old-timey Hawaiian stuff that was truly compelling.

To Jah-waiian's credit, it is relentlessly positive and upbeat, which is preferrable to bad-boy anthems. Also in the "plus" column is that at least it has a local feel. And the station has a strong colloquial sound with Pidgin-accented DJs. It's ad breaks sound full, so it's got support. So, more power to them. We're listening, right?


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Before leaving, I brought a hat from Target. Twelve bucks to keep skin cancer at bay? Fair enough. Yes, I knew it looked really touristy. Sara has now ruled that it looks *far* too lame, and historically, she often let me take "lame" right up to the limit with nary a complaint.

So, while she was with Sasha, I bought a new hat. Upon seeing it, Sara has ruled against that hat, too. She said it was a "jerkface" hat. Tourist or jerkface, I should stop buying hats. I'm not sure which one is worse.

You make the call:












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Sasha can now say "Bellybutton" and show you where it is. She can also climb up to the couch herself.

Sara and Sasha finally got some sunny beach time (it's been cloudy/windy/rainy/sunny). I think a little sunburn might have occurred.

Sasha's whole sleeping and eating routine has been pretty rough. Her Girl Interrupted shenanigans just led to a screaming fit at 10pm, which is two hours past her regular bedtime. Supposedly, since we're not killing her, we're making her stronger?

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If someone said, "You must eat your way to the bottom of this bathtub full of creamy, crunchy Moana Loa macadamia nuts," there would be zero hesitation on my part. Who doesn't love those nuts?

Kauai: Just The Facts

• Lodging: Townhouse in Princeville, North Shore Kauai
• Price: Free
  
• What This Place Kicks: Ass
• Example Set By It's Owner: Inspiring
  
• Times Locked Out Accidentally: 1
• Attitude: Aloha
  
• Weather: More clouds than sun, with some super-intense rain
• Flash Floods Escaped: 1
• Amt. Of Rain Leaked Into Rental Car Via Surf-Rack Straps: Approx. 3 Cups
  
• Surf Sessions: 3 1/2, in as many days
  
• Board: 9'6 Hap Jacobs epoxy noserider
• Noserides: 3
• Mustache Rides: 0
  
• Swell: NW 6 @ 12, E wind (offshore)
• Shark Advisories This Week: 1
• Shark Advisories This Decade: 1
  
• 
• Sasha Sleeping Pattern: Erratic
• Sara and Mike Sleeping Pattern: See above
• Most Reliable Pancake: Banana w/ Macadamia Nuts
  
• Wild Rooster Count: Unknown
• Closest 6o+ Half-Deaf Groovy Surfer/Diver: Next door
• Location of Skunky Odor: See above
• Hottest Trend on the Water: Stand-Up Paddle Surfing
• Worst Thing Since Surf Leashes (According To Codgers in the Lineup): See Above
• Radio Highlight: KKCR (Think tropical KMUD)
• Live Music Highlight: Melama Pono Allstars' saw-player
• Sasha Lowlight: Mike allowing the usually free-standing baby-framepack to topple over, face-first, in the sand with Sasha strapped in it
• Sasha Highlight: Flirting with chickens and catching her first wave
• Plans: Zero
• Chilling Level (Expressed as a Guitar Amp Setting): 11
  
• Number Of Perfectly Good But Empty Waves: Unknown
  

Thrilla In Manila

First Disc Golf game:
September, 1995
First Ace:
March 8, 2008

Every dog has his day.

Sasha Hits The Gym

The music is in Dutch, in case you were wondering what those clunky/sexy sounds were.

Scott Miller Hates Sasha

Noted Virginian, songwriter, ex-V Roy, and raconteur Scott Miller has arguably the best piece of band merch I've ever seen.

It's his most popular item, and it's really true. He hates babies. Get your baby-hating onesie here.

Nobody needs reminding that, on the live V-Roys record, Scott Miller is the one that starts the heartbreaking "Sorry Sue" by yelling at the audience: "SHUT UP, I'm being sensitive!"

Subterrenean Trasnmissions From Mt. Shasta

I guess it's all weird when you step back and look at mysticism, superstition, religion, new-age, or whatever. From a skeptical viewpoint, L. Ron Hubbard's volcano-aliens aren't any more unbelievable than a guy turning rocks into bread or the Dalai Lama's reincarnations. But who am I to judge?

So, we all chipped in and rented a cabin in Weed near Mt. Shasta. And this cabin was awesome! It was also loaded with books, DVDs, and the occasional poster describing what's underneath Mt. Shasta. A whole cult of futuristic aliens!

We all flipped through a book describing this whole deal. Then we watched the DVD of the 2005 Quad-channeling conference.

If memory serves, here's the nutshell of what the Shasta People believe:

The city of Telos is a mile beneath the mountain, and it's stocked with over a million Lemurians, who are in some way involved the people of Atlantis. They look like you(if you're seven feet tall and blonde), except more they're adorned with all sorts of new-age accouterments. These Lemurians are much more evolved than us, perhaps because of the permanent spring in Telos, or maybe it's their amino-acid supercomputers. Or maybe that's where Ashtar from Galactic Command enters the story. Either way, they live in a state of permanent bliss, man. Again, no judgment.

So, I talked about this at work. This woman calls up right as I was trying to clear out.

Her: "I heard you talking about the Shasta thing. I actually went out there for the '95 convergence. It was pretty incredible. On the full moon I swear I saw people coming out of the mountain."
Me: "That's nice, but..."
Her: "And we went out to Weed to check out this woman's TV set. It was totally unplugged but you could see an image of the Virgin Mary."
Me: "Thanks for the story. I have to go because..."
Her: "And the one of the people went to channel with one of the Lemurian priests up on Shasta and just totally disappeared. Never seen again, but the clouds over the mountain really looked like UFOs. It's a heavy place."
Me: "I really have to go now."


Our own non-alien trip was quite nice, actually. The dry mountain air cleared up my drippy nose, which was great. Good company, improv disc-golf in the snow, Guitar Hero III, plus I got some weak-kneed snowboarding in. Sara knitted as much as possible. Good times.

Too Sick To Blog

Home sick today. This must be what the DTs are like.
But I will point out that Bill Clinton was in Eureka on Wednesday.

I'd say 2000 people showed to fit in a 400-seat room. There was a lot of disappointment outside. Desperation is never pretty, especially when local A-listers are trying to cut in front of people who've been shivering for hours. I saw at least five movers/shakers acting like 3rd graders. That's just fucked up.

Inside, though, it was nuts. People ate it up. Glad I brought a camera.

Lessons learned:
1. Press Access rules
2. It takes a long fuckin' time sweep/secure a room
3. Bill can bring it. 60 mins and no notes, no "ums"
4. Secret Service have "awesome" locked in

Copenhagen In Miniature.

Yes, I'm 31 and I'm just now trying Photoshop. Please, stop laughing. Just because half of our friends are artists doesn't mean you just automatically learn it.

Doesn't one have to go through a period of overdoing everything in sight until the mysteries of Photoshop reveal themselves? Well, that's where I'm at. Binge-filtering like a sailor on shore leave. And I don't even care!

And what better excuse than to try Fake Tilt-Shift photography. I saw some cool examples in the New York Times "Year In Ideas" issue, and then Flickr has a whole group of FTS'ers.

The basic idea is that you take a photo, blur it, color, and do some other stuff to make it look like a tiny model. Who would make a model of Copenhagen? Nobody. Which is why it's extra fun to try and fake it. I took this photo last summer from a steeple in above Copenhagen. Also, check out the mini-airlift.

Rainy Day Crafts

http://rainydaycraftsbysara.blogspot.com/

Check out my craft blog!
-Sara

New Year, New Look

Presenting this year's winner of the NYE Mustache Contest.

Behold Eric Oldford's luxurious Chevron: timeless lines, with a touch of southwestern flavor-saving.

Merry Christmas

Christmas ruled. Sara's mom and Sasha have a good bond. Almost as good as Deirdre's face in that picture.

Closing In

Gimme Shelter

The dudes have abided. Abode. Whatever.


Shelter Cove 2007 was even better than 2006. Sweeter house, Wii, White Russians, the whole bit.

The surf wasn't great for Shelter Cove. Even so, it was still good to be in an uncrowded lineup catching short, fun, slow waves. The Wii was a hit, Eric brought Ted Papenhagen and Coz Worthington, and the Big Lebowski just gets better with age. Thanks to Zeke and Andy for the video.