Crapplebee's

Sara and me can go to Rita's and eat for maybe $20. Not bad, good food, local restaurant. But we'd been sitting on this $10 coupon for Applebee's and figured, "Why not?"

OK, two quick reasons: 1) food and 2) almost everything else.

First off, Applebee's "flair" is ultra-realistic. It's like a Hard Rock Cafe, but instead of rock semi-collectibles, it's homey, American junkabelia.

Applebee's Flair Placement Rulebook:

#24: Each picture must be framed and location-generic

#25: For the crown shelving around the perimeter, Flair items must be overlapping each other, forming an unbroken flair trail around the building

#61: Please acquire local, authentic looking flair whenever possible. Fire departments, little leagues and schools are good resources. If impossible, place any local Flair closest to the entry way. Order additional approved flair from headquarters.


Not even the salads were vegetarian! The nachos were dressed lukewarm tube-cheese, and the artichoke dip looked like puke.

We boldly trudge through it. At least the Brewser (how clever!) beer was Steelhead on tap. Turns out it was a $5 beer.

Total price AFTER the coupon was still $32. I would actually pay $32 on top of that to undo the feeling in my stomach. And then another $32 to annul the whole situation. The only good part is that the chirpy waitstaff doted on Sasha. Awwwww.

Here's the thing, though. Applebee's was full of people. People who probably like Applebee's. A table of whitehaired old ladies who play cards for nickels. Some menonites (?) with a newborn. A party of 8. Kevin, the groovy surfing minister, who just got a new 10'6 single-fin longoard. Everybody was so happy and nice. Where was the seedy underbelly? Everything has a dark side, yes? Could it be so one-dimensional?

So, bemoaning the state of family-style restaruant chains not only unproductive, but probably off-base. Something's going on there that I am missing. What is it? Maybe the America from TV actually exists in a stucco restaraunt on broadway.


By the way, a Google Image search of "Applebees" is a good way to kill 10 minutes.

Mother's Day Redux

Steve and Marigold Haske have this ultra-enjoyable blog. You don't need to know them to like it, but they are basically just like you: articulate, upwardly mobile, talented, devastatingly savvy, all that.

Anyway, Steve said I could repost Marigold's thoughts on Mother's Day. He said!

Being new parents ourselves, it resonated. He also said that I should try and make her look bad when I repost it, so I'll use an out-of-context photo of her.

Take it away, Marigold!
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Last year on Mother's Day I was about halfway through my pregnancy and I wrote a post entitled Ten Things About My Impending Motherhood That Scare The Bejesus Out of Me.

So this year, I'm going to re-visit that list and see how I'm doing now that Motherhood has arrived.

Ten Things About My Impending Motherhood That Scared The Bejesus Out of Me, But Now Don't So Much, And Why

1. The pee-pee. Never had one and not quite sure how to deal with it.
Well, I should've known that it wouldn't be all that scary. Except when he has really watery poop, because there are a lot of little nooks and crannies around that thing that need to be wiped up.

2. I have a strong aversion to vacuuming and have visions of all of the resulting kitty litter, pubic hairs, toenails, boogers, Cheeto crumbs, etc. that will inevitably end up stuck to Baby as he learns to crawl.
I keep one room of the house very clean, for the most part, and Huck is free to crawl about this room to his heart's content. When I notice that it's getting a little gross, I vacuum. The funny thing is, Huck also has a strong aversion to the vacuum. It scares the crap out of him. He cries and literally trembles in fear. Steve will bring him to another room and hold him while I do it.

3. What am I supposed to do with all of my craft supplies? I have a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Beads and ribbon and wire and glues for every occasion. And I'm no good at putting them away.
They are in a dedicated craft room that Huck's not allowed into. I do crafts in the livingroom after his bedtime, and I put them away when I'm done. Not a big deal.

4. The whole birthing process.
Yeah. That kind of sucked. But it's true that you forget it, because already I think it wasn't so bad.

5. Who will love the cats? And my Sims? Who will love them?
Nobody.

6. I require a lot of attention and affection from Steve. I like lots of snuggley-wuggly-wuvy-yuvies. Sometimes I like to yell, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" from across the apartment. I fear my doting husband will dote on me no more.
Hmm. This one is hard to explain. Our relationship is much . . . richer, I guess, now that Huck is here. We have always had a very strong relationship, but it is definitely a whole different kind of connection, being parents together. Something I don't think is possible without a baby. Our priorities are different. All of those worries I had about being too selfish to be a mother are completely non-issues now, because motherhood took all of that selfishness away. If that makes sense. I do miss "couple time" sometimes, though.

7. Dear God, isn't it just going to be so very very very exhausting? Am I going to be just soooo tired for the next eighteen years?
Not nearly as much as I thought it would be. I do have my days when I feel beat down and I need sleep, but overall I feel good. I've said this before, but I continue to amaze myself with my own stamina. Also, honestly, I could care less about being tired. This is funny to me because I've always been such a lazy person. I like napping and vegging out in front of the T.V. and having lots of "me" time. There were so many things I was scared about changing when I found out I was pregnant. Those things were SUCH a big deal. I actually thought I was giving something up to have a baby. Maybe freedom, or maybe unrealized potential. But now that he's here, my entire life is better. Now I look at people who don't want kids, or who are waiting for the "right" time and I think, you are missing out on the very best part of your life, and you don't even know it. So, I guess what I'm saying is that being a little tired is such a stupid thing to worry about. Now go have a baby.

8. Breastfeeding/breast pumping/cracked nipples/engorgement/plugged ducts/nipple confusion.
I was pretty lucky in this department. We had a rough couple of days right in the beginning, and it did sting at the latch on for the first month, but those are minor issues. We're both pros at it now. Incidently, I always knew I would breastfeed, but I never knew how much I would enjoy it. I love the drunk look Huck gets after he tanks up. Plus, nursing releases hormones that make me feel relaxed and content.

9. What about Lost? How will I watch it with Little Billy screaming all of the time? I can tape it or get TiVo, but won't I want to sleep when Baby's sleeping? What about all the important research that goes into watching that show?
This is not an issue at all. Again, it speaks to how priorities change. I still love the show, of course, but it's not a huge deal if I have to tape it and watch it the next day because I need to go to bed. Steve does most of the internet research during his lunch break and will report to me if there's anything major I need to know about.

10. This little bitty person is going to need me more than he needs anybody else. What if I just really screw up?
Meh. I'm good at this Mommy stuff.

Lost Coast trail

Gorgeous weather, tons of animals, good company. We powered 8 miles up to Big Flaton low-tide sand. Time your tides right, people!

Charlie's feet were hurting sumpin' fierce, but he still chased deer around like a maniac.

Part of the trip was to scope out the waves, which weren't happening at all. Good thing I didn't bring the board all the way up. By the way, bear cans are heavy. Just so you know.

Hard to go wrong on the Lost Coast, no?

People: 3
Dogs: 1
Hours: 36
Miles: 20 (including day hike)

Redwood Curtain

Shawn's birthday demanded a round on the front 9 at the Redwood Curtain. It was Sara with Sasha, Zeke with Owen, Shawn and Otis, and Charlie.

Perfect weather led to decent scores all around. Some turkey almost clocked us with a wayward drive, yelling "Fore!" right as a landed near us. Besides that, the course was in good shape with a couple of new baskets.

Up at the top of #6, Owen got caught in the Charlie/Otis doggy excitement. Otis was charging down the trail, Charlie on his heels, whey they collided. Time slowed for a second as Otis bowled into Owen. Owen, a welterweight compared to Otis, caught a little air and travelled a few feet before landing butt-first. He shook it off after a little consoloation.

We threw the lake hole just for fun; Zeke and Shawn may have birdied it (if memory serves).

Owen's got a lil' sib on the way, so here he is (at the top of #6) practicing his bro skills on Sasha.

Rowan and Sasha: Height check

Is this the "yay high"? As in "I remember when you were...." Or is there another yay height? There may be more yay out there. Will monitor the situation.